Brianna’s 2023 Update

Loved Ones,

This is an essential update on my life.

It’s long. However, I ask you to give me a chance, however, if you choose to leave now, I respect and understand your decision. I have been conflicted and on a path of uncovering the Truth - regardless of how unfavorable and messy. If you are one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, I know you value truth. I appreciated learning from my mom that if it feels wrong in your gut, follow your intuition; Jehovah gave it to us for a reason.
Hebrews 5:14 - “But solid food belongs to mature people, to those who through use have their powers of discernment trained to distinguish both right and wrong.” 

I’ve tried thinking about how to write this for a long time. I never thought I would have the chance or the guts to do so. I have forgiven much of the past and I am still working on healing. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the trauma that it caused. I have chosen to redact the names of most, out of respect. I don’t know where to start in the journey because it doesn’t seem like it really “began” anywhere. I’ll start at the most “recent” and see where it goes.
>TW - CSA, suicide ideation<

In 2018 I almost ended my life.

I struggled with depression my entire life. Suicidal ideations, feelings of unworthiness, working through my own CSA, and forgiving the people who have harmed me. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel uncomfy? All the time? I have been feeling unwell for as long as I can remember. (Headaches, body aches, pit in my stomach, etc.) It’s a feeling I’ve been around yet never fully understood until the onion finally unpeeled to a layer that unlocked many things for me.

From 2017-2018, I experienced the most challenging time of my life. I plan on expanding later with more details. For now, this is as close to a summary as possible. I had just started pioneering in September 2017, and in October 2017, Ian lost his job. I did write a diary entry detailing our year because I didn’t believe how stressful the year was. I knew I wasn’t going to make my time. In July, I asked for help after consulting a few older ones and those in a mature spiritual headspace. They all said I should reach out to my elders and let them know the circumstances.  I prayed a lot, went to doctors to help me figure out things, and asked for a shepherding call. All bases are covered. I needed encouragement after the hell I had been through. I sat our coordinator down and sobbed to him, saying I was very stressed out, and I needed some scriptures and help. That was a Sunday, and we had our meeting after the hall the following Tuesday. I was excited actually. I finally felt a breeze coming by to let me inhale fully…. What happened in that “Shepherding Call” still honestly haunts me. After briefly expressing myself, I got the feeling they didn’t want to hear what I had to say, so I did a cliff notes version of what I had written out. I think I spoke for about 5 minutes of the whole encounter. Brother 1 had a clipboard in his hands with bullet points HE had in mind to review. (please see https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1996207?q=shepherding+calls&p=sen under “Why Does a Shepherd Visit You?” subheading to see what a Shepherding Call is supposed to be like.) 

One of the first things he says to me after describing how I am broken down, his first thing on his agenda is, “We as a body think you need to step down as a pioneer.” This was my first year. I asked elders, and pioneers, for their advice and everyone said, talk to them, they are lenient your first year. All of them knew my circumstances. I don’t know if I answered to be honest. Not much, I know. Brother 1 turned to Ian and said, “ Well, what do you think?” Ian responded with, “Well, thats an opinion we should prayerfully consider at another time, I don’t think this is it.” Brother 1 quite literally tosses my time card which he had handy toward Ian, “Look at her time. She’s not going to make it.” Ian responded, “I don’t need to look at her time.” Ian says he blacked out at that moment, because the blatant disrespect of me would have had poor consquencses for the Brother. Honestly, I even started to dissociate for a couple minutes. I was in shock. I felt numb and broken. It wasn’t upbuilding. Brother 1 gave the advice on more prayer to Jehovah for assistance and asked me again what I thought, I remember just saying, “Okay.” The next thing on his agenda? Oh that’s right, Ian serving again. They talked about that for longer than the original topic I requested the meeting for. Did Ian have plans on joining the MS ranks again, What are his plans for being appointed again, etc. I’ll let Ian tell you his side, if he wants. Our group overseer at the time, Brother 2 who was the other brother in the meeting quoted ONE scripture, but didn’t really say much else. 

The entire 45 minutes and not a single scripture had been read, just one quoted. I have never felt so disrespected in my life, let alone by someone I trusted. For a while, I went with the thought of imperfect men make mistakes, and one day it will be rectified. I have witnessed elders reacting poorly to my parents in Shepherding Calls in the past, and my parents always said, in time the truth WILL come out. Brother who served in a New Castle congregation screamed at my dad inside my home in Delaware. I wanna say I was around 10-12? He berated my father. When I was around 14, in the New Castle Kingdom Hall where the same Brother, yet again, was being loud enough towards my father that a note from I believe Manor Park had to passed underneath the door, as it could be heard. I always knew Jehovah would keep an account of the ones he entrusted us to - Heb 13:17, justice would eventually be served if Jehovah saw fit. My parents swear I was never at one of these, but regardless, they never denied it happened.

I digress. That night I sobbed more than I ever have in my life. I felt worse than I did before asking for their help. I didn’t *do* anything wrong. I had a lot of unfortunate things happen beyond my control, asked for HELP, and I was being punished for it. I asked about Pioneer School and at first they said no, which crushed my spirit more. The fact that they decided to talk to me about this the same night I asked for encouragement and help from depression, that they read no scriptures, and they were more focused on getting another member to their team really made me ponder some things.

My soul was crushed more than it ever had been. They left me feeling like the opposite of Ezekiel 34:16 and 2 Corinthians  13:10. I left my house and drove to the Delaware Memorial Bridge. I think I drove over the bridge 3x that night, trying to gain the courage. I have always had suicidal thoughts, a literal child, but thats for another time. This was the closest I ever got. I truly didn’t know what I did to deserve this treatment. Jehovah obviously disapproved of me, even when all I’m doing is serving Him and struggling to survive. I ended up sitting in the Wawa parking lot staring at the bridge for over an hour while attempting to write letters to my loved ones. There was this moment where I felt a some peace and a hand like I should go home, and that also is a story for another time, because spoiler alert - It wasn’t an angel or Jehovah… although I thought that at the time.

The next morning my eye were so swollen I could barely close them. The girl at Dunkin looked at me odd, and asked if I was okay. I still had to go to a cleaning job for whatever reason my mom gave. After consulting other spiritually minded ones, pioneers, elders, and even a circuit overseer - They all suggested I go back and ask to talk to them again. I couldn’t see the faces of the brothers who spoke to me. The next sunday we got ready for the meeting. I printed out the diary entry and I decided to give it to one of the only other elders I really felt comfortable with - Trusted Brother 1. I couldn’t bring myself to go in for the meeting so we waiting in the parking lot until it was over. We approached Trusted Brother 1 and I ended up just explaining a little of what happened, and asked if he remember back in 2017 when I was out in service with himself, my aunt, another brother and myself - we had been talking about shepherding calls and I mentioned I loved them because we are taught that they are to upbuild and encourage. Trusted Brother 1 had been shocked because a lot in his congregation aren’t eager to receive them. He agreed that he vaguely remembered that, and I said well, honestly from my recent experience I might have more clarity as to why people might shy away from them. Trusted Brother 1 ended up grabbing an elder I didn’t have much contact with, who at first I wasn’t sure about but ended up glad he was apart of that. That meeting went better, I read my entire letter - which they were really surprised about how bad it had been. (I was pretty vocal about what had been happening in my life out in service…) and it did make me feel a bit better.  The one brother mentioned how Brother 1 never wanted the position and hes been having a hard time, some personal stuff. They decided to reverse the decision, and I could stay on the Pioneer list and go to Pioneer School. I was grateful, but I was still really hurt.

I wish I could say that was that. All was better. 

But it wasn’t. 

It stayed in the back of my head. I don’t see how he was okay with his actions, and while I forgive him - for myself - his position is supposed to be handled with utmost care. HE was having a hard time so I got the brunt of it? When I’m already at my lowest…pleading for assistance… That doesn’t feel Shepherd-like. Sheep should not have to take on the burden of the Shepherd.

Well, I’ve observed that with my parents, and this is strike two in that category. Pioneer School felt tainted, like I wasn’t supposed to be there, I truly regretted ever asking for help. I had a decent time, but truthfully I didn’t want to be there. The photos I did end up taking, I look kinda disheveled.

For the next year, I hustled. I ended up finished my 2nd year of pioneering with 15 hours in the Green. Pioneering seemed like it was the thing that could help me the most, because I enjoyed the ministry. I excelled at informal. But honestly, I still wasn’t being fulfilled. I wasn’t happy - honestly I had never been fulfilled. No matter how much I had faith, studied, and was surrounded by God’s Chosen people. I knew that if I had enough faith in this religion and God that I loved so much and I did the effort - every thing would be fine.

As a child I loved Jehovah, but I was in my head a lot. There were things that didn’t make sense to me, but I loved Jehovah and I wanted to make him and my parents happy. As a teenager I used to go to two meetings most weeks. I would physically go to mine, and then listen in to a friends to get more spiritual food. Studing English and Chinese publications to get my faith even more in depth. I prayed constantly. My thoughts were more like conversations with Jehovah. Even at the lowest I was at in 2018, I still had meaningful discussions with people outside of my congregational territory. More studying, prayer, field service, and spiritual association means you can deepen your understanding, knowledge, and ultimately our faith - right? I started to notice a lot of the field service conversations were not upbuilding. Gossip and even though things are spun in a positive way, it was not positive. A lot of people were talked about over the course of the 2 years I pioneered. Honestly, it made me know who to trust or not. I’m not going to be high and mighty - there were times I participated, zoned out, change the subject or even started it. Gossip is currency in the JW culture. But yet again, thats a conversation for another day. It made me feel icky honestly. It didn’t make me feel good, and then when I would see the person spoken about I would feel even worse. I used to be a nark (sorry anyone who had to deal with me) and overly righteous. Not necessarily in the viewpoint of the religion though, I was doing my christian duty, and I was praised for it. I no longer believe that is how you should maintain relationships. I realized I am actually a pretty private person, I just felt pressured to be completely transparent. I also observed how those more popular/favored in the congregation can get around certain “rules”. Some just never seemed to receive just punishment for worse “crimes”, yet some I know did barely anything and got the ultimate punishment. Imperfect men make mistakes, and one day it will be rectified, kept ringing in my ear.

In the spring of 2019, one of my best friends, Cadhla Horsey got disfellowshipped. I won’t go into the whole situation, however (This is hearsay, however I trust the source - it was found out that it was orchestrated that someone snitch on her and the person would be reinstated.) I personally believe after being witness to a few encounters between my friend and this particular elder, he had something out for her for some reason. She asked for their assistance - mind you after her mom passed away and her dad left the state, with also the knowledge that she was actively in desensitization therapy for her own CSA, yet they disfellowshipped her, leaving her even more isolated, alone and without support. There were many times previously I had to stay over the night for her safety - and now that couldn’t even be an option.

Again, I digress. That situation bothered me, and despite no contact - we did have a short working relationship that didn’t continue too long - it kept popping up in my head. All the scriptures and all the articles I’m reading are about how Jehovah accepts repentant ones, welcoming them with open arms…. Not being cruel and disfellowshipping someone who was repentant. My friend is not a fake person - She called me prior to the meeting, the ending of Luke 10:13 is reminiscent. So, I was SHOCKED to say the least when she called me in tears with the news. We all begged her to file an appeal, but she took the discipline like a champ. I honestly was really proud of her. I remember one of our work meetings, we broke JW rules and she showed me her calendar and notebook and it quite literally was all study, study, study to get back - better than ever.

I know she wrote multiple letters, to give them updates ontraumather status, but knew it was futile to appeal since she had to go back through the same elder who traumatized her. She was more spiritual and humble than ever. This situation didn’t add up with what I knew my God to tolerate, especially since she did go with a heart of remorse. They had their own personal agenda - just like with my shepherding call in 2017. Again, as I always have, I went with the thought of imperfect men make mistakes, and one day it will be rectified.

Remember that analogy I had in the beginning, being uncomfy, sick to your stomach, something isn’t quite right. I’ve had a lot of questions unanswered for me, but I have always been of the opinion that someone smarter than me knows more. But honestly, growing in the back of my head, something didn’t feel right in my soul if I truly thought about the religion…. And then I would start studing again - keep trying proving it to myself.

One day summer of 2019, a girl pops up on my youtube - Taylor Bjorndahl. ExJw. She actually did a couple YPA answers on JW.org (https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/teenagers/ask/dont-have-friends-feel-lonely/ Box, Second comment) 

I knew I wasn’t supposed to click, but there was something about this girl, but also the fact that I could actually go verify what she was saying. Unfortunately, she took down her story because I believe mental health, or personal stuff. Her story still haunts me and equally inspires me. The lack of support from her family, congregation and elders in a CSA case was appalling. They sided with the disfellowshipped ex-elder who is still currently in prison for his heinous acts against his two daughters. His wife knew, did nothing, protected him. The grandmother knew, did nothing, protected him. They even supported his side in the court. Now I’m sure she embleshed a few things here and there, memory isn’t 100% perfect, but he admitted to the acts. He is in jail. Prosecuted for Child Molestation and sentenced to 20 years. You can look him up - Georgia Inmate GDC 10021444477 Jason Cook.

I was sick to my stomach, because this isn’t the first time I’ve heard of this. I personally know/knew (Its been a few years can’t say I know them now) a handful of people that have had similar issues, only one I know was prosecuted. It’s their story, and not my place to tell. (Although, at some point if anyone wants me to anonymously share your story, I will.) Once again,  I went with the thought of imperfect men make mistakes, and one day it will be rectified.

As I am learning about this new information, it wasn’t enough somehow to break my illusion fully in my life as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I always had doubts in the back of my head, (as I’m sure most Witnesses do but won’t admit it) but they didn’t have enough evidence for me even to begin to research or even want to. I remember feeling broken as a kid because this religion didn’t feel right, but equally terrified of armageddon and being destroyed and not wanting to disappoint my parents and loved ones, but most importantly my parents. 

I plugged along the rest of 2019 with this in the back of my head, but still choosing to believe the truthfulness of the Jehovah’s Witness faith. Her congregation might not have had her back, but I know of a friend whose congregation did encourage her to report and the man was convicted. So see, imperfect men make mistakes, and one day it will be rectified, we just don’t know when. Must be patient.

Then 2020 happened. For many it was awful for their mental health, and they struggled.

Not for me. I was relieved to not be needed. The first 31-35 days, with a few exceptions, slept over 12+ hours. I was burnt out. Depressed. Constantly ill - migraines 6x a week, colds, sinus infections, sinus issues, body pains, debilitating period cramps every month. No motivation. No hobbies. I felt like I was living the motions prior to March 16th, 2020.

Zoom was a god send. I was actually able to pay attention a little more, and make more meetings for a time. The camera facing my face was not comfortable for me so I chose to not have it on. I know people who have told me they like going through and looking at everyone, and that made me feel uncomfortable and I was more focused on the material. I did a bit more personal study than I normally did. I realized how much information is recycled. Literally copied and pasted. It felt like milk, not beef and veggies. I feel like they have been dumbing us down since 2013, the material has gotten so simple and child-like.

I needed to take a break. So I did. I didn’t really connect with anyone from the hall for a few weeks, lessened communication with family and friends, stopped studying so much, logged into zoom but started not paying attention. What happened is literally the opposite of what I thought. I got happier. By end of 2020, beginning on 2021 my migraines almost completely vanished. My depression for the first time was manageable. I wanted to get out of bed and do things. That uncomfy, unwell feeling started to leave me. The only times it would come back is if I had to interact with someone who was a Jehovah’s Witness or if I was required to do a talk on a midday zoom meeting. I began to realize the energy exchange for me was not a healthy one. I needed more than just a feeling though. This was the true religion with God’s people, right?

I stumbled upon the Austrailian Royal Commission 2015, late 2020. With what I already knew from friend’s experiences, what I learned about Taylor’s experience, her congregation not supporting her in 2019 and then I remembered the brothers acting weird around this time of the ARC and in field service meetings commenting how lies were being spread about our dear brothers. They told us not to listen. I decided to take the chance that the brothers had been truthful. The discovery I made made me sick regarding CSA and their willful withholding of known documents that could prosecute predators. Jehovah’s Witnesses had over 1000 unreported cases of CSA in Australia alone. (https://www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au/case-studies/case-study-29-jehovahs-witnesses )

There are 25.6 million in population in Australia, with an estimated 67,000 Jehovah’s Witnesses. That means the unreported cases are 1.5% of the Australian JW population. Considering there are 1.2 million members in the U.S., a similar outcome would suggest there are roughly 18,000 people in the database. It makes my stomach sick to think how many children couldn’t have justice because there were no proper channels/instructions/requirements to report CSA.

Here are the requirements if a Kingdom Hall was vandalized or broken into:
SHEPHERD THE FLOCK OF GOD Elder Book Chapter 21, page 189 (Shepherd the Flock)

“31. When property damage occurs, quick action can go far in preventing further damage. Break-ins, thefts, arson, or other incidents of vandalism should be promptly reported to the local authorities. The Local Design/Construction Department (LDC) maintenance trainer may be contacted for direction.”

Here are the requirements when Elders are made aware of CSA:
SHEPHERD THE FLOCK OF GOD  Elder Book Chapter 14, pages 111-117

“4…The congregation’s handling of an accusation of child sexual abuse is not intended to replace the secular authority’s handling of the matter. (Rom. 13:1-4) Therefore, the victim, her parents, or anyone else who reports such an allegation to the elders should be clearly informed that they have the right to report the matter to the secular authorities. Elders do not criticize anyone who chooses to make such a report.—Gal. 6:5.” “6. Child abuse is a crime. In some jurisdictions, individuals who learn of an allegation of child abuse may be obligated by law to report the allegation to the secular authorities.—Rom. 13:1-4. 7. To ensure that elders comply with child-abuse reporting laws, two elders should immediately call the Legal Department for legal advice when the elders learn of an accusation of child abuse.”

Yes- they acknowledge that CSA is a gross sin, that the victim and the family can press charges without judgement, and that there are some jurisdictions where reporting CSA is legally required. They also, if given sufficient proof, will disfellowship the offender. Perfect.

Here is my issue(s): 1.) Why is reporting Kingdom Hall vandalization to authorities more important than reporting CSA, regardless if required by the state? That doesn’t seem to add up. 2.) Jehovah is a Just God who values truth and values the safety of little ones. So, why do Jehovah’s Witnesses NOT set themselves to a higher standard than what secular authorities require? (Teach Us -bhs chap. 15 pp. 154-163 - “Jesus said that we can identify those who worship God in the right way. We do this by examining what they believe and what they do. He said: “By their fruits you will recognize them.” And he added: “Every good tree produces fine fruit.” (Matthew 7:16, 17) This doesn’t mean that those who worship God are perfect. But God’s servants always try to do what is right.”) They should be the first to give up damning information on predators and pedophiles. It would not damage Jehovah’s reputation as some claim, it would actually do the opposite and show that they stand up to wickedness. Standing up for the lesser one is what Jesus did. Do you truly believe Jesus would allow known predators to be around children? He would be OUTRAGED. 3.) The two witness rule. For CSA, this is absolutely ridiculous. I am able to understand the “protecting the reputation of the accused” argument, while I disagree with it. Child predators are sneaky and divisive. They are charismatic, seemingly safe. That is by design. The two witness rule is to the benefit of the one who has more power than the child. It creates a power imbalance and doesn’t look good in favor of Jehovah’s Witnesses - who profess that they do everything in their power to protect children. 

Question: Who, in their right mind, would abuse/SA a minor in public? Answer: No one mildly intelligent. 

4.) Disfellowshipping is not protecting children. The person is still allowed to join meetings - so still technically has access to children in the hall, and truthful not every congregation informs its members. Since they aren’t required automatically by the branch to report any and every case and let the authorities investigate, they are allowing the public to not be inform of a predator. The God I served doesn’t care if its his servants children or not, he protects ALL children. The lackadaisical approach, report if your secular authorites require it, isn’t good enough for my conscious. 

My research found MILLIONS of dollars of Watchtower and its affiliates money being spent on settling CSA cases across the US and other countries. Did the Watchtower organization not condemn the Catholic Church for settling out of court? Please see g90 9/8 p. 29 “According to The Toronto Star, the Ottawa archdiocese of the Roman Catholic Church in Canada was recently ordered by the courts to pay $150,000 for failing to act on a complaint against one of its priests. The priest was accused of sexually assaulting young boys. The victims’ families “felt driven to seek a civil remedy because, having gone to the church for help after the assaults, they were shut out by officials, including the archbishop,” noted one lawyer. According to the Star, another lawyer stated that Catholic Church officials, on discovery of child-abuse complaints, have historically kept the priests in the clergy. He said: “Instead of reporting them to the police or booting them out of there like most any other institution, they have, out of loyalty to their own, just moved them around secretly.” As well as, g93 10/8 “For example, the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops concluded recently that it was a “general conspiracy of silence” that allowed gross child abuse to persist among the Catholic clergy for decades. Time magazine, in reporting on the widespread plague of incest, also cited a “conspiracy of silence” as a factor that “only helps perpetuate the tragedy” in families.”

One singular case, Superior Court Judge Richard Strauss imposed monetary sanctions of $4,000 a day for every day Watchtower failed to search for and produce the documents. Plaintiff’s attorney Zalkin says the sanctions started on April 16, 2016, and at $4000 a day, and was estimated to totalled more than $2 million dollars. Jehovah’s Witnesses are great with documentation, they document everything. They willfully chose to not supply what was asked for. This is sadly only one of dozens I found in the USA alone.
Please keep in mind Jehovah’s Witnesses are a completely donation based organization.
Point blank: Your donations are being used to protect pedophiles.

Protect children; what an actual joke.

There was a lot that made me sick to my stomach about this whole thing. As I was going through official transcripts because I know the warning some brothers give about deepfakes on videos, so I went to the official site. I found something else disturbing, but in a different way.

Geoffrey Jackson’s response during the ARC startled me.

(https://www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au/sites/default/files/file-list/Case%20Study%2029%20-%20Transcript%20-%20Jehovahs%20Witnesses%20-%20Day%20155%20-%2014082015.pdf - Page 9, Lines 35-38)

Q.   And do you see yourselves as Jehovah God's spokespeople on earth? 

A.  Geoffrey Jackson - “That, I think, would seem to be quite presumptuous to say that we are the only spokesperson that God is using.”

What does he mean it would be presumptuous to say?

I personally, as was many others, were under the understanding that the Governing Body ARE the only “true” spokespeople. I was always of the opinion they were inspired of Holy Spirit - when they meet together as a group to discuss matters - the literal whole reason why we listen to them. But that is not the case.

Please reference: 17 February p. 26 pp. 12, which quote, “The Governing Body is neither inspired nor infallible.” This is contradictory to the Insight Book on the Scriptures, Volume 1 p. 1205 says under “Inspiration”,  Quote: “However, even as God by his spirit, or active force, granted to certain Christians the “discernment of inspired utterances,” he could also guide the governing body of the Christian congregation in discerning which inspired writings were to be included in the canon of the Sacred Scriptures.​—1Co 12:10” As well as, w71 12/15 page 758,“Let us keep in mind that the governing body must be made up of dedicated, baptized Christians who are anointed with God’s spirit”

His answer is entirely misleading.

I sat with this for a long while. I remember reading that Watchtower and not thinking anything of it…. I didn’t catch that phrasing. From here it spiraled. I can explain away elders hurting me and my family. I can forgive people and even understand. But, the governing body, this group that was elusive until 2013 wasn’t inspired by holy spirit, so therefore they make mistakes? “Therefore, it can err in doctrinal matters or in organizational direction.” I thought they made mistakes because they were imperfect men, not because they weren’t inspired… Paragraph 13 contradicts itself, “Evidence of holy spirit. The holy spirit has helped the Governing Body to grasp Scriptural truths not previously understood. For example, reflect on the list of beliefs clarified that was referred to in the preceding paragraph. Surely, no human deserves credit for discovering and explaining these “deep things of God”!” I know holy spirit can assist and help anyone who calls on it… no doubts on whether it helped them, but why is their understand of doctrine the only way, then. It doesn’t sound like they are inspired, just that the Holy Spirit helps the work they do…. In that case, anyone can obtain spiritual gems, not just the JW’s Governing Body.

1 John 4:1 “Beloved ones, do not believe every inspired statement, but test the inspired statements to see whether they originate with God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” This scripture implores us to test their sayings. See if they are true. So, thats what I did. I did this once before when I was researching to make sure this was the true religion, I was 13-14 and unbeknownst to my parents in a way, but I was also pretty verbal about the fact I was doing research on other religions, but perhaps they thought I stuck with JW material, which I did do, and was highly influenced by. The only issue is I was looking out into the world with Jehovah’s Witness rose-colored glasses, which is what they encourage you to do - only research in their material to be convinced that they are the One True Religion. That is not how true research is conducted, by looking from only one viewpoint. I didn’t obey that when I was 13-14, I did look at “apostate” material but there wasn’t much online in 2006-07. Most of the people online at that time were far and few, and most of them did come off like rambling lunatics. So, I was proved “true” because all I was testing everything I found was against this blue-print they give you for what the True Religion Indicators are. The JW list. Sure, when you only look at things from one side of a prism, it’s going to ring true. I never once tested it against itself.

One teaching I never could understand or explain was 606/607 BCE. So that is where I started. No one had ever been able to explain it fully, with out stumbling over their words or doing a super amount of research. And even then, I didn’t understand the doctrine. It seemed stretched. But my whole life I had believed in men smarter than me. The truth should be easy to understand, not convoluted.

This is the first video I stumbled across that got to the point without dragging it out.

1914/607 Explanation - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkkU37lfKIQ&list=PLPXmbGbP-yBdPZzaHqP7UgDNF4MpX1TAD&index=7

I’m personally not going to break down the teaching in this, but the video is fantastic. For the first time in my 26/27 years I understood their teaching, even though it was a stretch. The teaching that the Jehovah’s Witnesses teach is a hodge podge, trying to force history to fit into their narrative. It is historically incorrect, but also archaeologically incorrect. It all clicked when I learned the truth, and found that 20 years were not missing, but in fact added by the Witnesses to secure the 606/607 date. This was the first time I realized I really put my critical thinking skills into someone else’s hands. I was okay with not understanding, because I thought these men were inspired in certain circumstances.

What I find interesting, is in w11 10/1 and w11 11/1 they did an in depth two part series “When Was Ancient Jerusalem Destroyed?​”, Carl Jonsso wrote in multiple times explaining the inaccuracies and the response from Watchtower is intriguing. (http://kristenfrihet.se/english/corr.htm- Responses back and forth from Carl and Watchtower.)

If the Governing Body is not inspired nor infallible, and it can err in doctrinal matters - why was and is the society not willing to research further into this easily verifiable discrepancy quite a few have found in their research. If the Truth is the Truth, it should withhold up to scrutiny and historical documentations as well as archaeological findings.

This led me to my next discovery. If something is the truth, should it not always be the truth, no matter how dim or bright our setting is around us? Just because the room is pitch black doesn’t change the fact that theres a coffee table in the middle of it, it doesn’t morph into a clock. Likewise, teachings shouldn’t change, just make more sense. It made me wonder, how many times can an organization change things before the members cry Wolf…

If you research where this religion stemmed from and how many wrong prophesies, and doctrine changes, it breaks the bubble that this is “The Truth”. Many people say, you shouldn’t read old Watchtowers because its “Old Light”. Why? Should we not fully understand where our religion and beliefs came from? “Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing”. The Generations teaching I never understood. I again trusted men who I thought were wiser than I and I let them do my thinking for me, because they told us we need to have faith.

I did separate research, but this is a very comprehensive reminder of the changes of this doctrine. (https://jwfacts.com/watchtower/generation.php)

Which led me to finally question “Stay Alive Until ‘75!”.

I was always under the impression from those who lived it, that those who sold their homes were being presumptuous and were not encouraged by the society to do that, yet in the same breath recount how they truly didn’t believe themselves that they would even graduate highschool. My research found discrepancies. There was clearly praising for those who were later chastised when the end didn’t come in 1975. No accountability taken from the society for those on stage making pretty big claims. From wol.jw.org:

km 5/74 p. 3-4 - “Yes, since the summer of 1973 there have been new peaks in pioneers every month……Reports are heard of brothers selling their homes and property and planning to finish out the rest of their days in this old system in the pioneer service. Certainly this is a fine way to spend the short time remaining before the wicked world’s end.​—1 John 2:17.”

w76 7/15 - “13 Did Jesus mean that we should adjust our financial and secular affairs so that our resources would just carry us to a certain date that we might think marks the end? If our house is suffering serious deterioration, should we let it go, on the assumption that we would need it only a few months longer? Or, if someone in the family possibly needs special medical care, should we say, ‘Well, we’ll put it off because the time is so near for this system of things to go’? This is not the kind of thinking that Jesus advised.”

w80 3/15 p. 17 - 5 In modern times such eagerness, commendable in itself, has led to attempts at setting dates for the desired liberation from the suffering and troubles that are the lot of persons throughout the earth. With the appearance of the book Life Everlasting​—in Freedom of the Sons of God, and its comments as to how appropriate it would be for the millennial reign of Christ to parallel the seventh millennium of man’s existence, considerable expectation was aroused regarding the year 1975. There were statements made then, and thereafter, stressing that this was only a possibility. Unfortunately, however, along with such cautionary information, there were other statements published that implied that such realization of hopes by that year was more of a probability than a mere possibility. It is to be regretted that these latter statements apparently overshadowed the cautionary ones and contributed to a buildup of the expectation already initiated.

6 In its issue of July 15, 1976, The Watchtower, commenting on the inadvisability of setting our sights on a certain date, stated: “If anyone has been disappointed through not following this line of thought, he should now concentrate on adjusting his viewpoint, seeing that it was not the word of God that failed or deceived him and brought disappointment, but that his own understanding was based on wrong premises.” In saying “anyone,” The Watchtower included all disappointed ones of Jehovah’s Witnesses, hence including persons having to do with the publication of the information that contributed to the buildup of hopes centered on that date.

That’s some serious gaslighting in my opinion. Essentially praising those selling their homes in faith, and to serve out the rest of their lives in this old system. It doesn’t explicitly say the end is coming in 1975 in the article, but it alludes to it pretty heavily. If they weren’t insinuating, why say this, “In modern times such eagerness, commendable in itself, has led to attempts at setting dates for the desired liberation from the suffering and troubles that are the lot of persons throughout the earth.” “If anyone has been disappointed through not following this line of thought, he should now concentrate on adjusting his viewpoint, seeing that it was not the word of God that failed or deceived him and brought disappointment, but that his own understanding was based on wrong premises.”

Then, immediately doesn’t take responsibility and puts it onto the “Fairweather Christians”.

This was one of the most blatant evidence I found for proving Jehovah’s Witnesses leaders were the ones who perpetuated or stirred up hope in the year 1975. Charles Sinutko's Wisconsin speech. Charles Sinutko Jr. was a circuit and district overseer. Talk was given in the spring of 1967 at Sheboygan Wisconsin Dalcour. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhn6ZF1Hl2A&list=PLTo2pxlxLh_0zwhhNYHOybFptwl3htg3y

That is not the only failed prophecy. Here is another comprehensive video. The 5 False End of Times Prophecies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nXKNAi_jnA&list=PLTo2pxlxLh_0zwhhNYHOybFptwl3htg3y&index=2

The last thing I found in 2020 was about shunning. Jehovah’s Witnesses are known for their shunning tactics, while in public settings saying that we don’t shun family members. In fact, here is an interesting “change” in their view point on this subject. Disfellowshipping was not practiced in its current form by the Watchtower Society until 1952. As late as 1947, the Awake January 8 page 27 described the practice of excommunication as an unscriptural, pagan practice, using Hebrews 10:26-31 to show it should be left to God to judge individuals. In the Watchtower 1944 May 15 pp.151-152, responsibility to judge an individual was moved from the congregation to representatives of the congregation. Despite admitting Matthew 18 directs the entire congregation to decide if a person is a wrongdoer, this would change to involve a limited number of representatives, because the process described by Jesus in Matthew 18 "has served to cause more controversy and disruption among congregations in times past than almost any other thing." Changing things to fit for their narrative seems to check out.

My faith was never destroyed, my eyes were just opened. I actually have been happier and have a deeper connection to what you call God and I call Source - than I ever have in my life. What I am experiencing now is what I believe everyone should have the chance to experience, and what you all try to strive your whole life for a possibility of forever.. This is what I had been searching for my entire life. Life has ups and downs, but I don’t feel like I’m trying to force anything anymore. I feel sadness that I know I will lose many people I love and care for. However, I have poured my cup into others for so long, doing my best to follow what I was told and encouraged to do, and I lost myself. I choose me. I will always choose myself. I crawled out of depression - on my own. I started the journey of loving myself for who I am and not what others want me to be - on my own. I am learning who the hell I am - on my own. I hope to share more of my life on my social medias, so if you stay - enjoy. I’m healing and I’m not perfect and mistakes will continue to happen, but I will choose be authentically myself from now on. My beliefs are ever evolving but I am excited to be able to make my own conclusions, and change my mind if it feels wrong.

In conclusion, I no longer believe Jehovah’s Witnesses directed by The Governing Body are God’s true channel. In fact, based off my research and personal conclusions I do believe the scripture in Matthew 7:21-23 is warning us of their charlatan ways.

Matthew 7:21-23 - “Not everyone saying to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter into the Kingdom of the heavens, but only the one doing the will of my Father who is in the heavens will. Many will say to me in that day: ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and expel demons in your name, and perform many powerful works* in your name?’  And then I will declare to them: ‘I never knew you! Get away from me, you workers of lawlessness!’”

If you’ve read this far - thank you. I know for many of you this is a shock, and for others I’m sure your narrative will be that you saw this from a mile away. Whatever your narrative, I wish nothing but happiness, peace, love and authenticity to everyone. Please do your own research, and come to your own conclusions. I left links and references for your convenience - it took me a long time to start to heal and to make this choice, and it is not done lightly or without thought. Any one who is questioning can reach out with question or for support without fear of being reported. Ian and I are a judgement-free zone. To conduct true research you must consider all sides of an argument and see which one rings the truest for YOU. If staying one of Jehovah’s Witnesses is what you need to stay safe or even because its your truth, I respect, understand and support you. I do not consent to texts, phone calls, emails, mail trying to convince me or shame me to come back, I will not respond/debate/discuss. However, I am open to answering sincere questions.

If you haven’t yet, please see Ian’s post - Facebook or missthecherrys.com/blog/2023ianupdate. I am so proud of him for coming to his own conclusions and figuring out his own beliefs and convictions. I am eternally grateful to have him by my side as my partner in life, best friend, and husband.

I love you all.

Brianna Cherry

No Longer One of Jehovah’s Witnesses
“God has no religion.”