One Year Later
So we left one year, one day ago officially from the Cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses. What has transpired since?
So much… and yet not much at all. Let’s get into it.
My last year was overall pretty awesome, I got to spend it with my friends. I watched one get married on the beach, spent Halloween with a close friend Emily, got to wear clothes that express my individuality, got better at my intuitive readings and tarot readings (reach out if you want to book a session with me), go to a few raves, got to go to themed parties at a friends house, catch up with exJW friends I wasn’t allowed to talk to, get closer to my Inlaws, go to the lunar faire, dye my hair mermaid colors and purple, make connections with a friend I hadn’t talked to in about 10 years, read books that were banned from the cult, meet my moms best friend whos been shunned for about 30 years and her daughter whos like a sister to me, celebrate everyone’s birthdays and holidays (that I agree with), start posting my story on tiktok, spend thanksgiving with my inlaws, make new non-JW friends, bought a new car, taught myself to draw (still working on that xD), and many many more things.
(Trigger Warning) My July-December 2023 was also some of the roughest times I have ever experienced mental health-wise. Losing the relationship I had with my parents and my best friend was one of the hardest losses I’ve ever had, and they aren’t even dead. Alive but just out of reach. My parents only keep in touch for important things such as updating me on my dad’s surgeries but we used to talk almost every day and I miss that very much. I spent most of the summer trying to learn to be myself, while some phrases spoken by family members were burned into my brain and caused me extreme emotional torture. So much so that in December, one of my favorite months because it was Christmas and my birthday, I had a huge mental breakdown and ended up in a mental health facility from an attempted overdose (SA attempt) I spent 4 days in the hospital being pumped full of fluids so the meds didn’t permanently damage my organs, and then another 7 days at the mental health facility doing intense therapy and having many breakthroughs. What sucks is I can almost guarantee my family would rather me have died - Their hope in my being “resurrected” into their “hope of a paradise earth” - which is not even a full guarantee that any of them or myself would make it anyway… My uncle wrote some nasty things to my husband while I was in the hospital blaming Ian for my mental health issues, however I have had severe depression and suicidal ideations since I was 6 years old. I have wanted to die my entire life…. until now. My birthday 12/25/2023 I made a promise to myself that I will never let others opinions affect me the way they did last year.
All I can say is I’m glad my attempt did not work and I’m so happy I have the husband I do to call the police on me and to support me through my hospital stay and after. I have so many things to be thankful for and to be alive and losing my life is not fucking worth a single thing otherwise.
My loss of contact with my best friend Blossom is something I still struggle with to this day. Our friendship was so pure and she truly is still my best friend to this day. No one could ever replace her - despite my attempts to find someone to try to take that place - its impossible. No matter how much time has passed she will always be in my heart, and if she ever decides to leave the JW cult I will be the first to welcome her and support her - no matter what.
My wish is that Jehovah’s Witnesses who are questioning why the organization is making the changes they are do some serious research. This is a MAN MADE religion, not god based. (see my previous blog post for proof) Just recently Phillip Brumley a lawyer for the JWs is being charged $150k+ for lying to the court and falsifying affidavits… I thought JW are supposed to be honest above all else? (Caekaert vs Watchtower). Jehovah’s Witnesses - DO YOUR RESEARCH.
The JW organization tells you not to look outside JW sanctioned material for news and information. Lets give an example: Let’s say you visit a restaurant and when you enter, the hostess says, thank you for coming, we ask that you do not look up reviews on this restaurant. You find this a bit weird and as she sits you, you pull your phone up to look at a Yelp review. Immediately the manager comes over and says, “no no you can not look at any reviews of our restaurant, here is OUR website with reviews made only by staff.” Would that not seem weird to you? Why wouldn’t you be able to do some unbiased research on your own, that is not on the website of the restaurant? I know if I went to a restaurant like that I would get up immediately and leave. Why wouldn’t you do even more for a religion that is giving you life-threatening advice - (IE CSA cases, not accepting blood transfusion, etc)
All I know is, the few things I have lost from leaving do not compare to the things I have gained. I have gained self confidence, I have gained happiness, I have gained being guilt free when my entire life I felt guilty for things I didn’t even do. I am so much happier and so is my husband.
I am so excited for the next year! I can’t wait to show you what we’ve accomplished.
Reach out to us anytime via our contact links at the top of the page - if you are an exJW wanting to vent or a new friend or a JW wanting to leave we are always willing to support and give advice. If you are a non JW and want to be friends - we are so excited to meet you!
Love always,
Brii <3
